When it comes to intimacy and sex, some people just don’t get it. Many tend to believe that the two are interchangeable, but they are distinctly different.
Sex is simply the act of intercourse; the physical gratification you obtain from enjoying a good sexual experience and orgasm with your partner. While good sex is essential for many in a relationship, it is, of course, temporary, meaning that, the feeling you get from it can be fleeting.
Intimacy, on the other hand, is more heartfelt. Intimacy is something else – something much deeper. It is an emotional connection you share with someone close to you. Intimacy is a space that is created between two people who don’t mind being naked either, but in a different type of way. It’s when you can share personal things with someone and those admissions create a beautiful and soul fulfilling bond.
You see, most couples fight or argue about sex/intimacy and there are two reasons for this; (a) A partner says, in order to have sex they have to create intimacy first…(b) Another feels that they have to have sex first in order to create intimacy. So the couple fights back and forth about what should come first. One usually says, “I need sex to feel close to you” And the other retaliates by saying “I need to feel close first in order to have sex” And round and round they go arguing about which one needs to come first.
A lot of problems would be resolved if couples realized that you can have sex without intimacy and vice versa. Sex and intimacy are mutually exclusive. That is, you can have one without the other.
In a romantic setting, intimacy is that feeling you get when you feel heard and validated by your partner after a vulnerable experience. You feel that you are able to rely on them in a very delicate way. You can talk about practically anything. No judgment. Instead, just support and affection. Intimacy doesn’t always have to lead to sex, but it is still a fulfilling aspect of a relationship. It is about bearing your soul to one another.
While intimacy is a beautiful thing, it doesn’t mean that everyone can handle this level of closeness because most people gamble with their bodies which makes it easier for them to look elsewhere for few months of sizzling sex when the need arises.
It’s easier to emotionally shut people out of your life while still offering them the one thing that you think they can’t hurt – your body. You may be intimidated by the wholeness of a relationship but you still have needs, so you think casual sex is the way to go. As sad as this sounds, many are willing to throw their bodies on the craps table and gamble with them (while gambling against their heart).
In order to enjoy your relationship and make it last longer with the person you love, you need to be willing and ready to be intimate. Intimacy is an intricate, woven path that leads to your heart. With it, life is more full, more colorful, more inspiring and more alive.
When you think about it, who could ever choose sex over something so substantial?